True Chiefs fan secretly hates Chiefs’ success

KRIKSVILLE, Mo. – With the Kansas City Chiefs off to their best start in years, the Kansas City area is starting to show signs of pride in its football team once again. For most residents, it’s an opportunity to wear red, talk football around the water cooler and hang flags from their houses and car antennas.

But not everyone is celebrating the Chiefs’ success. Self-proclaimed “true Chiefs fan” Allan Gast is disappointed with the reaction he’s seeing.

“Where were all these people last year?” said Gast, 41, a sandwich artist at Subway. “Where was the love and support when the Chiefs were down? That’s when the real fans are around. Not these asshole bandwagon fans who couldn’t name five players off of the 2008 team.”

Gast says he now demonstrates his true loyalty by refusing to wear any Chiefs merchandise and staying out of discussions about the Chiefs with his friends or customers. Even his coworkers, who have taken to wearing red on Fridays this season, say Gast is standoffish and almost confrontational when they start talking about Kansas City football.

“After that Monday night game a few of us were talking about Dexter’s return for a touchdown when Allan walked up and got pissed,” said Jay Terry, a fellow sandwich artist. “He started asking if we knew the last Chiefs player to score a special touchdown. When we couldn’t answer, he screamed we didn’t deserve to be Chiefs fans. Then refused to talk to us the rest of the day.”

Gast, who doesn’t own season tickets, has attended every game during the last five seasons by purchasing heavily discounted tickets off third-party websites, or simply showing up around game time and receiving free tickets from people looking to get rid of them. This season, however, he’s found it difficult to grab tickets at below face value.

“Where were these people in 08 when we lost 14 games? Where were they when we were getting destroyed week after week? Because I was here; supporting the team like a real fan and getting into the game for nearly free,” said Gast, as his face turned beat red and voice cracked. “To be honest with you, real Chiefs’ fans like me are happier when the team is losing.”