LOS ANGELES – Donald Faison, a television actor most well known for his role as Christopher Turk on the ABC semi-hit comedy Scrubs has applied for the job as the Chiefs Offensive Coordinator, citing his experience playing for Denzel Washington, who played Herman Boone, the head coach on Remember the Titans.
Faison, who played the back-up running back, turned defensive back star with a bad attitude, Petey, did not play football in high school, but he said just hanging around the guy who played the guy on Remember the Titans should be good enough to earn himself a job with the Chiefs.
“Oh yeah, I learned tons of stuff,” said Faison, who is actually more of a basketball fan, but thought this was a good opportunity if (when) Scrubs gets canceled this year. “I didn’t actually talk to coach Boone directly, and, technically, I didn’t talk to Denzel either, that guy is kind of a dick. But I did spend some time with the technical consultants, who taught me how to back pedal as a defensive back, and how to look convincing as I fumbled the ball.”
Todd Haley, head coach and current offensive coordinator for the Kansas City Chiefs, said that even though Faison’s acting in Remember the Titans means he’s spent more time on the field as a player than Haley, it doesn’t qualify him to coach the Chiefs’ offense.
“Come on guys, what’s he going to teach us? How to fumble the ball effectively and quit on the team?” asked Haley. “Have you not been watching this season? We’re already pretty good at both of those things.”
Larry Johnson could not be reached for comment.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Johnson apologies for Twitter outburst, slur, blames Gossip Girl
KANSAS CITY, Mo. – Kansas City Chiefs running back Larry Johnson apologized Tuesday for his use erratic postings on Twitter, one of which used a gay slur and some that appeared to attack Chiefs’ coach Todd Haley.
Johnson, a two-time Pro Bowl back, said in his apology that after the Chiefs’ loss to the San Diego Chargers on Sunday, he tried to unwind by watching his favorite show – Gossip Girl – and was upset about the newest wrinkle in Chuck and Blair’s relationship.
“I apologize to Mr. Hunt, the Chiefs organization and my fans,” Johnson said. “I never should have used the language I did. We were coming off a loss, it’s been a horrible season for me, and I had, literally, just watched Chuck kiss another dude. I mean, seriously, why can’t those two kids just be happy together. Why must it always be something?”
Late Sunday evening, Johnson posted a series of messages on his Twitter account, including: “My father played for the coach from 'rememeber the titans'. Our coach played golf. My father played for redskins briefley. Our coach. Nuthn."
Johnson also used a gay slur, describing someone’s Twitter photo as a “fag pic.” According to the Kansas City Star, when approached by reporters on Monday, Johnson declared that he would not be speaking to the media, and then stated they should “get your faggot ass out of here.”
During his statement Tuesday, Johnson said he was in a bad emotional state and released his frustrations inappropriately and at the wrong people. He had been unable to watch the show when it originally aired because of a busy practice schedule and, after watching it Sunday evening, was overcome with emotion that lasted through Monday.
“They (Gossip Girl couple) had been playing with fire, and it finally caught up with them. I thought Blair was just clowning, but she actually let him kiss a guy. She just watched it happen without stopping it, that’s messed up,” said Johnson. “Then I find out it wasn’t the first time Chuck had kissed a dude. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I mean you watch a show religiously for three years, and then you find out something like this. I just snapped. And I’m sorry. I shouldn’t use gay slurs. I mean, Chuck might be gay and he’s my favorite tv character of all time. Or is he bi? I’m a little confused right now.”
Johnson went on to say he’d accept the Chiefs’ request to stay away from team activities as they look into the incident.
“I’m cool with it. It will give me time to find a new show,” said Johnson. “After this whole episode ordeal, I’m thinking I may need a new favorite show anyway. I just rented Season 1 of Glee, so maybe this free time can be put to good use.”
Johnson, a two-time Pro Bowl back, said in his apology that after the Chiefs’ loss to the San Diego Chargers on Sunday, he tried to unwind by watching his favorite show – Gossip Girl – and was upset about the newest wrinkle in Chuck and Blair’s relationship.
“I apologize to Mr. Hunt, the Chiefs organization and my fans,” Johnson said. “I never should have used the language I did. We were coming off a loss, it’s been a horrible season for me, and I had, literally, just watched Chuck kiss another dude. I mean, seriously, why can’t those two kids just be happy together. Why must it always be something?”
Late Sunday evening, Johnson posted a series of messages on his Twitter account, including: “My father played for the coach from 'rememeber the titans'. Our coach played golf. My father played for redskins briefley. Our coach. Nuthn."
Johnson also used a gay slur, describing someone’s Twitter photo as a “fag pic.” According to the Kansas City Star, when approached by reporters on Monday, Johnson declared that he would not be speaking to the media, and then stated they should “get your faggot ass out of here.”
During his statement Tuesday, Johnson said he was in a bad emotional state and released his frustrations inappropriately and at the wrong people. He had been unable to watch the show when it originally aired because of a busy practice schedule and, after watching it Sunday evening, was overcome with emotion that lasted through Monday.
“They (Gossip Girl couple) had been playing with fire, and it finally caught up with them. I thought Blair was just clowning, but she actually let him kiss a guy. She just watched it happen without stopping it, that’s messed up,” said Johnson. “Then I find out it wasn’t the first time Chuck had kissed a dude. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I mean you watch a show religiously for three years, and then you find out something like this. I just snapped. And I’m sorry. I shouldn’t use gay slurs. I mean, Chuck might be gay and he’s my favorite tv character of all time. Or is he bi? I’m a little confused right now.”
Johnson went on to say he’d accept the Chiefs’ request to stay away from team activities as they look into the incident.
“I’m cool with it. It will give me time to find a new show,” said Johnson. “After this whole episode ordeal, I’m thinking I may need a new favorite show anyway. I just rented Season 1 of Glee, so maybe this free time can be put to good use.”
K-State fan one win away from being totally insufferable
DESOTO – Friends of Jeremy Landers, a diehard fan of Kansas State University, say the 24-year-old pizza delivery driver is bordering on becoming totally unbearable.
Landers, who grew up a diehard Kansas State fan, has recently become more vocal about the Wildcats and their spot in the Big 12 and the national college football scene. With Kansas State on a two-game winning streak, and in first place in the Big 12 north, K-State football is all Landers can talk about.
“Two weeks ago, he was just a normal guy, but now, Christ, he won’t shut the fuck up about Kansas State and Bill Snyder,” said John Handley, a friend of Landers. “I think he’s spent the last three days figuring out the schedule of every Big 12 North team and predicting each game, describing exactly how K-State is going to win the division. It’d be fine if it was just once, but I swear he does this every 15 minutes. It’s like he’s on fucking repeat.”
In week six of the college football season, the Wildcats were blown out by Texas Tech, 66-14, dropping K-State to 3-3, with two of those wins against Division-IAA teams. Since that time, however, the ‘Cats have won back to back games against Colorado and Texas A&M, putting them at 5-3 overall, and in first place in the North.
“Two weeks ago, that guy stood no less than two feet from me and declared K-State was a basketball school, and then spent 20 minutes talking about KU and K-State’s basketball record before 1988, and that 20 years does not make a historic program,” said Handley. “Now, just 14 days later, all he can talk about is K-State’s football record since 1990 and how they’re nationally known as one of the top programs in college football.”
If the Wildcats can win their next game, against Oklahoma, friends say they may have to stop hanging out with Landers again. Ironically, it was K-State’s last win over Oklahoma that prompted them to “take a break” from hanging out with their friend.
“I was at K-State with Jeremy at the time, and even I got sick of hearing about it,” said Clive Rogers, an accountant, who said their group of friends decided not to hang out with Landers during the 2003 Christmas break. “We didn’t actually freeze him out, we just hung out a few times and didn’t call him. We just needed a few “football free” weeks. You have to understand, that was the culmination of almost seven years of non-stop K-State bragging. It was awful. Still, he’s only half as irritating as most KU fans I know.”
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