Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Guy who drafted all Chiefs still looking for first win

MOBERLY, Mo. – The Kansas City Chiefs may have won their second game of the season, but it was no consolation to Steven Valdenrammer, who saw his fantasy football team, the “Valden’s Rammers” drop to 0-10 on the season.

This week, Valdenrammer lost to the “Team McMannis”, run by Katie McMannis, girlfriend of Tim Schroder. “Team McMannis”, missing three starters because Katie hasn’t checked her team in three weeks, managed to crush Valdenrammer’s squad 61-44. It was McMannis’ first win of the season and Valdenrammer’s second highest scoring total of the year.

“We brought Katie in because we needed an extra person. She doesn’t even watch football,” said Schroder. “When I told her she won, she had forgotten all about the league.”

Valdenrammer, whose draft strategy consists of drafting as many Chiefs players as possible, has not won a fantasy league game in nearly two years, dating back to week four of 2008, when Larry Johnson’s two-touchdown performance helped push him to a 71-64 win over the “Wee Man Giants”, who had three guys on a bye week.

This season, Valdenrammer used his first round pick on Dwayne Bowe, his second on Matt Cassel and third on Larry Johnson. From there, he selected Chiefs at random, filling up his roster. Unfortunately, he was unaware the Chiefs had let go of Conner Barth, so he failed to draft kicker Ryan Succop. Because of his “Chiefs’ only” policy, he’s played this season without a kicker.

“It’s frustrating, but what are you going to do? This strategy worked wonders for me a few years ago,” said Valdenrammer, who pays $50 to gain entrance to the league. “Back in the days of Trent Green, Tony Gonzalez, Priest Holmes and a Hall of Fame offensive line, an all-Chiefs roster was unstoppable. They’ll get back to that point soon. Right?”

Ron Prince really hoping KU looking for “Bold and Daring” head coach

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. – Former Kansas State head football coach Ron Prince admitted he is quietly hoping the University of Kansas will be searching for a “bold and daring” head coach if the Jayhawks fire Mark Mangino, according to sources close to the situation.

Prince, currently working as the special teams coach at the University of Virginia, was a virtual unknown when he was hired by Kansas State to replace Bill Snyder after Snyder’s sudden retirement in 2005.

Despite leading the Wildcats to a bowl game his first season, and scoring two upset victories over Texas, Prince quickly found himself under fire from Kansas State fans and donors, who didn’t care for his dictatorship-like tactics, his underwhelming recruiting, or the fact that he went 0-9 against Kansas, Missouri and Nebraska. Attempting fake punts from inside his own 30 didn’t go over well either.

The source, who refused to be named, said Prince was touting his resume, which included a bowl appearance, two wins over a nationally ranked program, a first-round draft pick quarterback, and a coaching tree that includes an NFL head coach.

“He was pretty adamant that the losses weren’t his fault, most of those were because of the players,” said the source. “I mean, the Texas wins, those were all him. And those great special teams, he was the one who helped mold those. But the losses, I mean, the coach can’t be everywhere at once.”

According to the source, in addition to looking for someone “bold and daring”, Prince is also hoping Kansas Athletic Director Lew Perkins is looking for a leader who will, “coach smart, not scared.”