Breaking News: No University of Missouri players arrested this week

COLUMBIA, Mo. – The University of Missouri athletic department today released a report highlighting the exemplary behavior its student athletes have displayed during the past four days. For the first time in what feels like forever, not a single University of Missouri athlete was arrested or accused of a crime during the first three days of the week.

Missouri players have run into legal trouble at least six times in the last few months, including a high profile arrest of former captain and player Derrick Washington, who has been charged with felony sexual assault and domestic violence. Washington has since been kicked off the team.

A press release went out to all local and national media with a statement from Missouri head football coach Gary Pinkel.

“I couldn’t be happier that we finally managed to almost go an entire week without me getting a call about one of my guys needing bail money,” said Pinkel. “I think this shows that the messages we’ve been preaching from day one are finally getting through to our team. It only took five or six guys getting arrested.”