Twenty-two guys off the street don’t want to play for Haley, Chiefs

LEAWOOD – Results from a recent poll reveal that Kansas City Chiefs’ head coach Todd Haley may not be able to win two games with 22 guys off the street, mostly because he would have problems finding that many men willing to play for him.

In reference to the Chief’s 2008 season, in which the team went 2-14, Haley allegedly made the declaration that he could win two games with 22 random people. Haley is rumored to have made the statement in an attempt to insult Pro Bowl offensive lineman Brian Waters. Three weeks into the NFL season with Haley at the helm, the Chiefs are 0-3 and showing no signs of improvement week-to-week.

Pollsters spoke with 100 male Chiefs fans in and around 810 Sports Zone in Leawood, Kan., after the Chiefs’ loss to the Philadelphia Eagles Sunday. Results indicate fans do not believe Haley, with just 14 percent indicating they were confident in the Chiefs’ ability to coach 22 regular guys to at least two wins.

Unfortunately for Haley, the 14 percent was the high-water mark in the poll. Just 11 respondents said they would be willing to play for an “everyman’s squad” coached by Haley. And only nine answered that they believed Haley will win at least two games this year.

“Play for that a-hole? No thank you,” said Jim R., who lives in Belton, Mo., and had crossed the state line to watch the game with his brother. “That guy looks like a maniac on the sidelines. I have serious doubts he’s going to win two games in real NFL players, so I don’t see how he could win with me.”

Even with plenty of doubters, Haley would have a few options to pick from, should he choose to dump his NFL players for regular guys off the street.

“Are they serious about that? I played a little ball in college, and I was good man, I was real good,” said Taylor L., from Kansas City, Mo. “Someone once put a clock on me and I ran my 40-yard dash in 4.2 flat. Ran for about 1,200 yards with 16 TDs my last season in college. I even led my fraternity’s intramural squad to the semifinal championship game. You tell Haley that if he needs a running back, I’m here. Seriously, tell him that.”

Roger B., a contractor from Overland Park, thinks it’s possible to win two games with non-NFL players, but not if they’re being coached by Haley.

“To reach two wins, you’re either you’re going to need regular guys being led by a real NFL coach, or you’re going to need NFL players coached by a regular guy,” Roger said. “So if it’s a team of average Joe’s, you’ll need someone other than Todd Haley as the coach. Plus, that guy’s an asshole. You couldn’t pay me to play for him.”