Misleading poll: Excitement about Kansas City Wizards has never been higher

LEAVENWORTH – A recent poll of 10,000 local residents conducted by an independent researcher suggests the support for the Kansas City Wizards has never been higher.

The poll, commissioned by the Leavenworth Visitors’ Bureau, showed that nearly six percent of residents in the Kansas City metro and suburban area consider themselves “fans of the Wizards.” That number topples the previous high of four percent, which was recorded in 2000, shortly after the Wizards’ MLS Cup championship.

“I think this just shows that professional soccer is really coming around in Kansas City,” said Kip Scarborough, President of the Kansas City Wizards fan club. “If you had a group of 100 KC residents a few years ago, maybe three of them would claim to be Wizards fans. Now, that’s up to six. Six hundred people in the area consider themselves fans. I think we’re about to call check and mate to all those who doubted us.”

The poll wasn’t all good news. Just 17 people could name even a single player on the Wizards. Not 17 percent of people, but just 17 people out of 10,000 knew the name of at least one player on the team. That’s 0.17 percent.

Still, Scarborough said it was only a matter of time before soccer outpaced football and baseball as Kansas City’s premier sporting choice.

“You can see the enthusiasm in our fan club, which, for a few days, topped 50 people, before that slut Tammy Klein quit because she couldn’t pay dues,” said Scarborough. “And our message board is blowing up. Do you know we’ve had six new threads started since the beginning of September? Even taking out the two of them that turned out to be spam, and that’s still a record for us. Get on the bandwagon now Kansas City, before it’s filled up.”