Even Mother Nature Biased Against the Missouri Tigers

COLUMBIA – Following the Missouri Tigers’ 27-12 loss to the Nebraska Cornhuskers, Phillip LaMont, president of the Anti-Missouri Biases Fan Club issued a statement concerning the role of “Mother Nature”.

LaMont, a DeSoto, Mo., resident, and senior at the University of Missouri, claims that Mother Nature was out to get the Tigers on Thursday, and proved it by dumping a torrential rainstorm onto the Tiger fans and players.

“At Missouri, we already face enough challenges. We are the most disrespected, discounted, disparaged school in the NCAA,” writes LaMont, who is majoring in political science. “The actions of Mother Nature are unforgivable. Everyone knows we had that game in the bag if it had just stopped raining. We should be the No. 1 team in the North, but we all know the NCAA won’t let that happen. I’m sure they conspired with Mother Nature to deliver this win for the Nubbies.”

The Missouri Tigers held a 12-0 lead through three rain-drenched quarters, only to completely collapse in the fourth quarter. Mizzou quarterback, Blaine Gabbert, however, threw two costly interceptions during a Cornhuskers 20-0 spurt in the fourth quarter to give Nebraska the win.

To impartial observers it appeared Nebraska simply wore down the offensive and defensive lines of Missouri, and that Gabbert, a freshman quarterback, was making too many ill advised throws. But according to LaMont, on a clear night, Missouri would have easily taken the win.

“You give me crystal clear skies and a temperature in the 60’s, like we’d seen the previous four weeks, and that’s a cakewalk to victory for the Missouri Tigers,” said LaMont. “You just know the NCAA and Mother Nature are sticking it to us. You just know they don’t want to see the black and gold in the Big 12 championship game again, because this year, we’d win it for sure, and I guess that’s just not good for ratings.”

The claim against Mother Nature is just another in a long line of complaints from Missouri fans. The media in both Kansas City and St. Louis has drawn criticism for “not showing enough Tiger love”, and fans constantly rail against the NCAA for its role in cheating the Tigers on BCS bowl bids, or NCAA Tournament seeding. However, most of their criticism is saved for the referees.

“Missouri fans are pretty bad when it comes to the Big 12 and unnecessary complaining,” said Big 12 official Tom Vekosky. “They whine about every holding penalty or pass interference call. I’ve even heard them start whining when penalties are called on the other team, as if what I’m calling is an attempt to balance out all the injustice done to them.

“Still, they’re no where near as bad as K-State fans.”