K-State fans burn down announcers home, urinates on ashes

SHAWNEE – ESPN Announcer Dave Armstrong was horrified to find that his Shawnee house had been burned to the ground, and the ashes had been urinated upon by the arsonists.

Kansas State fans Richard Willis and Timothy Holt were arrested last Thursday night after evidence left at the house traced back to them. According to police reports, Willis and Holt were upset that Armstrong had mistakenly referred to a statue of Ernie Barrett as Fred Bramladge.

“I’m sure he knew who the statue was, but it was obvious that he just hates K-State and does everything in his power to make sure we look bad,” said Willis. “And if it was just a mistake, then he’s too stupid to be on tv anyway. Seriously, do some research on the team you’re covering. If all you know are the coaches, the players, the statistics, and college facts, then you’re a total fucking idiot who needs to be taught a lesson.”

Holt said burning down the house was the backup plan after their initial plan fell through.

“At first, we were just going to start an e-mail campaign to get him fired, but we thought that might be a little too harsh,” said Holt. “I know losing a house is tough, but he needed to learn a lesson that you don’t mess up facts about K-State. Or we will destroy you. Maybe next time Dave won’t show a complete and total bias against K-State.”

Armstrong, a professional of nearly 20 years who regularly calls games for the Big 12, the NFL among others said he thought the retribution was harsh, but it’s what’s to be expected when calling a K-State game.

“You come to expect that with Wildcat fans. But I should have known better than to make that mistake,” said Armstrong. “I do wish they hadn’t burnt down my house though. We had all our Christmas presents already wrapped. I mean, WOW, that’s going to be a lot of extra shopping.”