MOBERLY, Mo. – The Kansas City Chiefs may have won their second game of the season, but it was no consolation to Steven Valdenrammer, who saw his fantasy football team, the “Valden’s Rammers” drop to 0-10 on the season.
This week, Valdenrammer lost to the “Team McMannis”, run by Katie McMannis, girlfriend of Tim Schroder. “Team McMannis”, missing three starters because Katie hasn’t checked her team in three weeks, managed to crush Valdenrammer’s squad 61-44. It was McMannis’ first win of the season and Valdenrammer’s second highest scoring total of the year.
“We brought Katie in because we needed an extra person. She doesn’t even watch football,” said Schroder. “When I told her she won, she had forgotten all about the league.”
Valdenrammer, whose draft strategy consists of drafting as many Chiefs players as possible, has not won a fantasy league game in nearly two years, dating back to week four of 2008, when Larry Johnson’s two-touchdown performance helped push him to a 71-64 win over the “Wee Man Giants”, who had three guys on a bye week.
This season, Valdenrammer used his first round pick on Dwayne Bowe, his second on Matt Cassel and third on Larry Johnson. From there, he selected Chiefs at random, filling up his roster. Unfortunately, he was unaware the Chiefs had let go of Conner Barth, so he failed to draft kicker Ryan Succop. Because of his “Chiefs’ only” policy, he’s played this season without a kicker.
“It’s frustrating, but what are you going to do? This strategy worked wonders for me a few years ago,” said Valdenrammer, who pays $50 to gain entrance to the league. “Back in the days of Trent Green, Tony Gonzalez, Priest Holmes and a Hall of Fame offensive line, an all-Chiefs roster was unstoppable. They’ll get back to that point soon. Right?”
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Ron Prince really hoping KU looking for “Bold and Daring” head coach
CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. – Former Kansas State head football coach Ron Prince admitted he is quietly hoping the University of Kansas will be searching for a “bold and daring” head coach if the Jayhawks fire Mark Mangino, according to sources close to the situation.
Prince, currently working as the special teams coach at the University of Virginia, was a virtual unknown when he was hired by Kansas State to replace Bill Snyder after Snyder’s sudden retirement in 2005.
Despite leading the Wildcats to a bowl game his first season, and scoring two upset victories over Texas, Prince quickly found himself under fire from Kansas State fans and donors, who didn’t care for his dictatorship-like tactics, his underwhelming recruiting, or the fact that he went 0-9 against Kansas, Missouri and Nebraska. Attempting fake punts from inside his own 30 didn’t go over well either.
The source, who refused to be named, said Prince was touting his resume, which included a bowl appearance, two wins over a nationally ranked program, a first-round draft pick quarterback, and a coaching tree that includes an NFL head coach.
“He was pretty adamant that the losses weren’t his fault, most of those were because of the players,” said the source. “I mean, the Texas wins, those were all him. And those great special teams, he was the one who helped mold those. But the losses, I mean, the coach can’t be everywhere at once.”
According to the source, in addition to looking for someone “bold and daring”, Prince is also hoping Kansas Athletic Director Lew Perkins is looking for a leader who will, “coach smart, not scared.”
Prince, currently working as the special teams coach at the University of Virginia, was a virtual unknown when he was hired by Kansas State to replace Bill Snyder after Snyder’s sudden retirement in 2005.
Despite leading the Wildcats to a bowl game his first season, and scoring two upset victories over Texas, Prince quickly found himself under fire from Kansas State fans and donors, who didn’t care for his dictatorship-like tactics, his underwhelming recruiting, or the fact that he went 0-9 against Kansas, Missouri and Nebraska. Attempting fake punts from inside his own 30 didn’t go over well either.
The source, who refused to be named, said Prince was touting his resume, which included a bowl appearance, two wins over a nationally ranked program, a first-round draft pick quarterback, and a coaching tree that includes an NFL head coach.
“He was pretty adamant that the losses weren’t his fault, most of those were because of the players,” said the source. “I mean, the Texas wins, those were all him. And those great special teams, he was the one who helped mold those. But the losses, I mean, the coach can’t be everywhere at once.”
According to the source, in addition to looking for someone “bold and daring”, Prince is also hoping Kansas Athletic Director Lew Perkins is looking for a leader who will, “coach smart, not scared.”
Thursday, November 12, 2009
KU’s “Waving the wheat” a stupid tradition, says guy wearing corn on his head
OSBORN – High school student and Nebraska fan Tommy Harold described the “waving the wheat” tradition among University of Kansas students as “stupid” last Saturday during the Huskers’ 10-3 win over Oklahoma.
For years, the Jayhawk fans have celebrated touchdowns by raising their arms above their head and moving them side to side, as if to give the impression of Kansas wheat, waving in the wind.
Harold, wearing one of those giant yellow hats in the shape of a corn stalk, said the Jayhawk fans looked ridiculous when performing the waving action.
“What a bunch of ‘tards man,” said Harold, who, no kidding, has two separate corn hats, one for home games and one for watching tv while sitting on the couch. “Ooooo. Waving wheat. Because wheat grows in Kansas. How ingenious. Don’t they realize how stupid that makes them look?”
For years, the Jayhawk fans have celebrated touchdowns by raising their arms above their head and moving them side to side, as if to give the impression of Kansas wheat, waving in the wind.
Harold, wearing one of those giant yellow hats in the shape of a corn stalk, said the Jayhawk fans looked ridiculous when performing the waving action.
“What a bunch of ‘tards man,” said Harold, who, no kidding, has two separate corn hats, one for home games and one for watching tv while sitting on the couch. “Ooooo. Waving wheat. Because wheat grows in Kansas. How ingenious. Don’t they realize how stupid that makes them look?”
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
810 insiders: Kevin Kietzman kind of a whiney bitch
LEAWOOD – In a surprise to no one, reports are coming out of the 810 WHB studios that Kevin Ketizman, part owner of the radio station and host of the drive time show “Between the Lines” is a whiney bitch about pretty much everything.
While Kietzman is never at a loss for pissing and moaning about something insignificant, his latest tantrum occurred Monday, when he attacked his own radio station for ignoring the Kansas State Wildcats and their rise as the only non-horrible football team in the Big 12 North.
“He called an all-hands meeting among the hosts and demanded they all start talking about K-State. He was pretty upset. His voice kept cracking and I’m pretty sure he was fighting back tears,” said one intern who said most people were unfazed by the outburst. “This happens about once a month.”
Multiple insiders at the WHB studios said Kietzman may be best served by scaling back his show by a few hours to allow time for an afternoon nap.
“You remember when your kid was four years old, and he’d stayed up way too late the night before but got up at his usual time, and now it’s 4:30 in the afternoon and you’re in the grocery store and he’s screaming the top of his lungs and throwing things out of your cart?” said an 810 executive who refused to be named. “Kevin Kietzman is that four year old. Only with an ego the size of Texas.”
“Whaaaaaaaaaaaa,” said Kietzman, when reached for comment. “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.”
While Kietzman is never at a loss for pissing and moaning about something insignificant, his latest tantrum occurred Monday, when he attacked his own radio station for ignoring the Kansas State Wildcats and their rise as the only non-horrible football team in the Big 12 North.
“He called an all-hands meeting among the hosts and demanded they all start talking about K-State. He was pretty upset. His voice kept cracking and I’m pretty sure he was fighting back tears,” said one intern who said most people were unfazed by the outburst. “This happens about once a month.”
Multiple insiders at the WHB studios said Kietzman may be best served by scaling back his show by a few hours to allow time for an afternoon nap.
“You remember when your kid was four years old, and he’d stayed up way too late the night before but got up at his usual time, and now it’s 4:30 in the afternoon and you’re in the grocery store and he’s screaming the top of his lungs and throwing things out of your cart?” said an 810 executive who refused to be named. “Kevin Kietzman is that four year old. Only with an ego the size of Texas.”
“Whaaaaaaaaaaaa,” said Kietzman, when reached for comment. “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.”
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