LAWRENCE – University of Kansas football coach Mark Mangino spent 20 minutes Wednesday extolling the play of his quarterback, Todd Reesing, in hopes that it will help Reesing in his quest for the Heisman Trophy. Mangino then spent 15 minutes with a direct plea to Peter Jackson to cast the pint-sized Jayhawk in the upcoming movie, The Hobbit.
The extended discussion was out of character for Mangino, who rarely campaigns for individual awards for his players. But on Wednesday, the Kansas coach said Reesing is a special player and a tiny person, and he deserves acclaim for both.
“You name me one quarterback who makes as many plays at Todd Reesing, just one. You can’t do it. The kid is a playmaker,” said Mangino during his teleconference with Big 12 reporters. “Also, look at his size. He’d make the perfect hobbit. And his feet - those little, hairy, disgusting feet - you name me one other person in America who have perfect hobbit feet. You can’t do it. The kid is a hobbit. He’s a playmaking hobbit.”
Reesing has been the driving force behind KU’s recent success in his three years as quarterback of the Jayhawks. He’s two bowl games, including the 2008 BCS Orange Bowl, and has set a multitude of quarterback records at Kansas. So far this season, he’s completed 69 percent of his passes for 1,579 yards and 13 touchdowns with just three interceptions. He’s on pace for his third straight season of at least 3,400 yards passing and 30 touchdowns.
Plus, listed at 5-foot-11, with a good chance he’s actually smaller than that, Reesing also appears to be an excellent candidate for a leading role in The Hobbit, a prequel to the massively successful Lord of the Rings trilogy.
“I realize there are some other great candidates for the Hobbit movie, because Hollywood is full if tiny actors. Kiefer Sutherland, for example, would make a great old hobbit, because that guy is like 5-foot-2 with shoes on. But Todd is the perfect size, and I can’t think of a more worthy hobbit,” said Mangino. “And, you know, he even dances like a hobbit.”
When reached for comment about Reesing’s chances at earning a spot in the movie, Jackson, a huge college football fan, had not yet seen Reesing play. But after watching a few clips on YouTube, the Academy Award winning director wouldn’t rule out offering the Kansas senior a part.
“It wouldn’t be unprecedented. Sean Austin, who played Rudy, was a great Hobbit, and he’s bigger than this guy (Reesing),” said Jackson. “And if his feet are as disgusting and hobbit-like as you say, I guess it’d be nice to save some money on the prosthetics and makeup.
“But there’s no way he’s winning the Heisman. He’s maybe the third best quarterback in his own league, let alone the whole NCAA. I’d say he has a better chance of starring in The Hobbit than he does of getting an invite to New York.”
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Frank Martin Halloween masks flying off shelves
OTTAWA – Halloween is fully of scary characters, but according to Larry Steinsfield’s customers, no one is scarier than Frank Martin, men’s basketball coach at Kansas State University.
Steinsfield, who manages two Targets in Kansas, including the Target in Ottawa, said his store cannot keep rubber masks of Martin’s face in the store, despite three reorders.
“It’s the first thing people ask for. Apparently, his face is terrifying,” said Steinsfield, 53, adding Martin’s mask moved places on the shelves early in the costume-buying season. “At first, we had him among the celebrities, like Presidents Obama and George W. Bush, Kate Gosselin, and Dwight Schrute. But people kept going to our horror section looking for the mask. So it’s now between Freddy Kruger and that guy from the Saw movies. And, by looking at the face, it makes more sense there.”
The idea of a Frank Martin mask came from Rick Georgio, who heads up marketing for Scare-Me, Inc., a Los Angeles-based company that manufactures rubber masks. Georgio, who grew up in Oklahoma, said he was watching Martin coach the Kansas State Wildcats against his alma matter, Oklahoma State, when inspiration struck. A call had gone against Kansas State and Martin’s eyes bulged from his head before he erupted in a screaming fit against one of his players.
“I had it on DVR, and I kept replaying it and watching over and over again. Every once in while I’d stop it just as he’s about to explode,” said Georgio. “There’s so much intensity in that face. You can almost see the veins pop out of his head. It really looked like he was about to murder someone. My wife made me stop doing it because it was really freaking her out. She ended up having a nightmare about it.”
Georgio’s bosses at Scare-Me were initially skeptical about manufacturing a rubber mask of the coach of a second-rate basketball team. But after a quick viewing of a Frank Martin explosion on the sidelines, they quickly agreed to give it a trial run. Within three days of the masks hitting the shelves, the company was getting requests for more product, prompting another printing of masks.
Because of Georgio’s inspiration, and Martin’s terrifying expressions, children and teenagers in the Kansas City area, and even beyond the Midwest, will don the mask to spook neighbors and friends. Even those who are clueless about the person who inspired the mask wear it with pride.
“He’s a coach?” asked Daryl Yarmin, 16, of Bentonville, Arkansas. “I thought he was a serial killer or some kind of high-ranking gangster. That face was so scary. I’d be afraid if I was a referee for that guy. He’d probably kill you if you made a bad call.”
For Steinsfield, the Frank Martin mask has been a blessing for sales, but as far as he’s concerned, it’s not the scariest mask on the shelves.
“The Frank Martin mask is scary. But he’s still no Kate Gosselin,” said Steinsfield. “That bitch makes my skin crawl.”
Steinsfield, who manages two Targets in Kansas, including the Target in Ottawa, said his store cannot keep rubber masks of Martin’s face in the store, despite three reorders.
“It’s the first thing people ask for. Apparently, his face is terrifying,” said Steinsfield, 53, adding Martin’s mask moved places on the shelves early in the costume-buying season. “At first, we had him among the celebrities, like Presidents Obama and George W. Bush, Kate Gosselin, and Dwight Schrute. But people kept going to our horror section looking for the mask. So it’s now between Freddy Kruger and that guy from the Saw movies. And, by looking at the face, it makes more sense there.”
The idea of a Frank Martin mask came from Rick Georgio, who heads up marketing for Scare-Me, Inc., a Los Angeles-based company that manufactures rubber masks. Georgio, who grew up in Oklahoma, said he was watching Martin coach the Kansas State Wildcats against his alma matter, Oklahoma State, when inspiration struck. A call had gone against Kansas State and Martin’s eyes bulged from his head before he erupted in a screaming fit against one of his players.
“I had it on DVR, and I kept replaying it and watching over and over again. Every once in while I’d stop it just as he’s about to explode,” said Georgio. “There’s so much intensity in that face. You can almost see the veins pop out of his head. It really looked like he was about to murder someone. My wife made me stop doing it because it was really freaking her out. She ended up having a nightmare about it.”
Georgio’s bosses at Scare-Me were initially skeptical about manufacturing a rubber mask of the coach of a second-rate basketball team. But after a quick viewing of a Frank Martin explosion on the sidelines, they quickly agreed to give it a trial run. Within three days of the masks hitting the shelves, the company was getting requests for more product, prompting another printing of masks.
Because of Georgio’s inspiration, and Martin’s terrifying expressions, children and teenagers in the Kansas City area, and even beyond the Midwest, will don the mask to spook neighbors and friends. Even those who are clueless about the person who inspired the mask wear it with pride.
“He’s a coach?” asked Daryl Yarmin, 16, of Bentonville, Arkansas. “I thought he was a serial killer or some kind of high-ranking gangster. That face was so scary. I’d be afraid if I was a referee for that guy. He’d probably kill you if you made a bad call.”
For Steinsfield, the Frank Martin mask has been a blessing for sales, but as far as he’s concerned, it’s not the scariest mask on the shelves.
“The Frank Martin mask is scary. But he’s still no Kate Gosselin,” said Steinsfield. “That bitch makes my skin crawl.”
Monday, October 12, 2009
Douglas County Jail ranked No. 1 in preseason Prison basketball rankings
Lawrence – The highly anticipated Preseason Prison Basketball Rankings, scheduled to hit the shelves this Thursday, will feature the Douglas County, Kan., jail as the No. 1 team in the nation, according to unnamed reports.
The No. 1 ranking would be a first for the Douglas County jail, and the first jail in Kansas to receive the top ranking since the Barton County jail in Great Bend, Kan., earlier this decade.
“We’re honored, I guess, to receive this distinction,” said prison guard and part-time coach Brian Spencer. “I mean, we just put out whoever happens to be here, and it just so happens that this fall we’ve been inundated with fantastic basketball players. We’ve just been lucky.”
The Douglas County jail, located in Lawrence, has seen a dramatic increase in the talent on the court in recent weeks. Nearly all of the talent has come by way of the University of Kansas, where basketball players continue to find themselves in trouble.
“The difficult part is that we’re not allowed to play any violent, felony offenders, so we’re always kind of limited,” said Spencer. “But lately, we’ve had guys in here for punching classmates, drinking and driving, shooting people with BB guns, or just rubbing their junk on unsuspecting women. Are they all technically allowed to play? Maybe not. But we’re only stretching the rules a little bit. I mean, this is Lawrence, Kansas. Stretching the rules is pretty much the norm here.”
The No. 1 ranking would be a first for the Douglas County jail, and the first jail in Kansas to receive the top ranking since the Barton County jail in Great Bend, Kan., earlier this decade.
“We’re honored, I guess, to receive this distinction,” said prison guard and part-time coach Brian Spencer. “I mean, we just put out whoever happens to be here, and it just so happens that this fall we’ve been inundated with fantastic basketball players. We’ve just been lucky.”
The Douglas County jail, located in Lawrence, has seen a dramatic increase in the talent on the court in recent weeks. Nearly all of the talent has come by way of the University of Kansas, where basketball players continue to find themselves in trouble.
“The difficult part is that we’re not allowed to play any violent, felony offenders, so we’re always kind of limited,” said Spencer. “But lately, we’ve had guys in here for punching classmates, drinking and driving, shooting people with BB guns, or just rubbing their junk on unsuspecting women. Are they all technically allowed to play? Maybe not. But we’re only stretching the rules a little bit. I mean, this is Lawrence, Kansas. Stretching the rules is pretty much the norm here.”
Even Mother Nature Biased Against the Missouri Tigers
COLUMBIA – Following the Missouri Tigers’ 27-12 loss to the Nebraska Cornhuskers, Phillip LaMont, president of the Anti-Missouri Biases Fan Club issued a statement concerning the role of “Mother Nature”.
LaMont, a DeSoto, Mo., resident, and senior at the University of Missouri, claims that Mother Nature was out to get the Tigers on Thursday, and proved it by dumping a torrential rainstorm onto the Tiger fans and players.
“At Missouri, we already face enough challenges. We are the most disrespected, discounted, disparaged school in the NCAA,” writes LaMont, who is majoring in political science. “The actions of Mother Nature are unforgivable. Everyone knows we had that game in the bag if it had just stopped raining. We should be the No. 1 team in the North, but we all know the NCAA won’t let that happen. I’m sure they conspired with Mother Nature to deliver this win for the Nubbies.”
The Missouri Tigers held a 12-0 lead through three rain-drenched quarters, only to completely collapse in the fourth quarter. Mizzou quarterback, Blaine Gabbert, however, threw two costly interceptions during a Cornhuskers 20-0 spurt in the fourth quarter to give Nebraska the win.
To impartial observers it appeared Nebraska simply wore down the offensive and defensive lines of Missouri, and that Gabbert, a freshman quarterback, was making too many ill advised throws. But according to LaMont, on a clear night, Missouri would have easily taken the win.
“You give me crystal clear skies and a temperature in the 60’s, like we’d seen the previous four weeks, and that’s a cakewalk to victory for the Missouri Tigers,” said LaMont. “You just know the NCAA and Mother Nature are sticking it to us. You just know they don’t want to see the black and gold in the Big 12 championship game again, because this year, we’d win it for sure, and I guess that’s just not good for ratings.”
The claim against Mother Nature is just another in a long line of complaints from Missouri fans. The media in both Kansas City and St. Louis has drawn criticism for “not showing enough Tiger love”, and fans constantly rail against the NCAA for its role in cheating the Tigers on BCS bowl bids, or NCAA Tournament seeding. However, most of their criticism is saved for the referees.
“Missouri fans are pretty bad when it comes to the Big 12 and unnecessary complaining,” said Big 12 official Tom Vekosky. “They whine about every holding penalty or pass interference call. I’ve even heard them start whining when penalties are called on the other team, as if what I’m calling is an attempt to balance out all the injustice done to them.
“Still, they’re no where near as bad as K-State fans.”
LaMont, a DeSoto, Mo., resident, and senior at the University of Missouri, claims that Mother Nature was out to get the Tigers on Thursday, and proved it by dumping a torrential rainstorm onto the Tiger fans and players.
“At Missouri, we already face enough challenges. We are the most disrespected, discounted, disparaged school in the NCAA,” writes LaMont, who is majoring in political science. “The actions of Mother Nature are unforgivable. Everyone knows we had that game in the bag if it had just stopped raining. We should be the No. 1 team in the North, but we all know the NCAA won’t let that happen. I’m sure they conspired with Mother Nature to deliver this win for the Nubbies.”
The Missouri Tigers held a 12-0 lead through three rain-drenched quarters, only to completely collapse in the fourth quarter. Mizzou quarterback, Blaine Gabbert, however, threw two costly interceptions during a Cornhuskers 20-0 spurt in the fourth quarter to give Nebraska the win.
To impartial observers it appeared Nebraska simply wore down the offensive and defensive lines of Missouri, and that Gabbert, a freshman quarterback, was making too many ill advised throws. But according to LaMont, on a clear night, Missouri would have easily taken the win.
“You give me crystal clear skies and a temperature in the 60’s, like we’d seen the previous four weeks, and that’s a cakewalk to victory for the Missouri Tigers,” said LaMont. “You just know the NCAA and Mother Nature are sticking it to us. You just know they don’t want to see the black and gold in the Big 12 championship game again, because this year, we’d win it for sure, and I guess that’s just not good for ratings.”
The claim against Mother Nature is just another in a long line of complaints from Missouri fans. The media in both Kansas City and St. Louis has drawn criticism for “not showing enough Tiger love”, and fans constantly rail against the NCAA for its role in cheating the Tigers on BCS bowl bids, or NCAA Tournament seeding. However, most of their criticism is saved for the referees.
“Missouri fans are pretty bad when it comes to the Big 12 and unnecessary complaining,” said Big 12 official Tom Vekosky. “They whine about every holding penalty or pass interference call. I’ve even heard them start whining when penalties are called on the other team, as if what I’m calling is an attempt to balance out all the injustice done to them.
“Still, they’re no where near as bad as K-State fans.”
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