LAWRENCE – University of Kansas football coach Mark Mangino spent 20 minutes Wednesday extolling the play of his quarterback, Todd Reesing, in hopes that it will help Reesing in his quest for the Heisman Trophy. Mangino then spent 15 minutes with a direct plea to Peter Jackson to cast the pint-sized Jayhawk in the upcoming movie, The Hobbit.
The extended discussion was out of character for Mangino, who rarely campaigns for individual awards for his players. But on Wednesday, the Kansas coach said Reesing is a special player and a tiny person, and he deserves acclaim for both.
“You name me one quarterback who makes as many plays at Todd Reesing, just one. You can’t do it. The kid is a playmaker,” said Mangino during his teleconference with Big 12 reporters. “Also, look at his size. He’d make the perfect hobbit. And his feet - those little, hairy, disgusting feet - you name me one other person in America who have perfect hobbit feet. You can’t do it. The kid is a hobbit. He’s a playmaking hobbit.”
Reesing has been the driving force behind KU’s recent success in his three years as quarterback of the Jayhawks. He’s two bowl games, including the 2008 BCS Orange Bowl, and has set a multitude of quarterback records at Kansas. So far this season, he’s completed 69 percent of his passes for 1,579 yards and 13 touchdowns with just three interceptions. He’s on pace for his third straight season of at least 3,400 yards passing and 30 touchdowns.
Plus, listed at 5-foot-11, with a good chance he’s actually smaller than that, Reesing also appears to be an excellent candidate for a leading role in The Hobbit, a prequel to the massively successful Lord of the Rings trilogy.
“I realize there are some other great candidates for the Hobbit movie, because Hollywood is full if tiny actors. Kiefer Sutherland, for example, would make a great old hobbit, because that guy is like 5-foot-2 with shoes on. But Todd is the perfect size, and I can’t think of a more worthy hobbit,” said Mangino. “And, you know, he even dances like a hobbit.”
When reached for comment about Reesing’s chances at earning a spot in the movie, Jackson, a huge college football fan, had not yet seen Reesing play. But after watching a few clips on YouTube, the Academy Award winning director wouldn’t rule out offering the Kansas senior a part.
“It wouldn’t be unprecedented. Sean Austin, who played Rudy, was a great Hobbit, and he’s bigger than this guy (Reesing),” said Jackson. “And if his feet are as disgusting and hobbit-like as you say, I guess it’d be nice to save some money on the prosthetics and makeup.
“But there’s no way he’s winning the Heisman. He’s maybe the third best quarterback in his own league, let alone the whole NCAA. I’d say he has a better chance of starring in The Hobbit than he does of getting an invite to New York.”
Showing posts with label KU. Show all posts
Showing posts with label KU. Show all posts
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
Preppy douche bag asshole commonly mistaken as a KU fan
LENEXA - Clint Jefferies, a preppy douche bag asshole, was once again misidentified as a fan of the University of Kansas Jayhawks on Saturday, this time by fellow patrons at Tanner’s Bar and Grill off 87th Street in Lenexa.
Jefferies, who at the restaurant a date, was using the men’s urinal when another man, standing next to him, struck up a conversation about the Jayhawks football team.
“I’m standing there, trying to take a piss, and some random dude, who I don’t know and have never met before, looks over and says, ‘so how ’bout those Jayhawks, man. Think they got a shot at the North,’” said Jefferies, who was decked out in baggy cargo shorts, a half-open button down shirt from Banana Republic, hemp necklace and a beat-up ‘Cocks’ baseball cap with the rim bent in almost a half circle. “And I’m like, ‘First of all, dude, don’t talk to me when my hand is on my dick. Second, I’m not a goddamn Jayhawk fan.’ Jesus, I don’t know why people keep assuming that.”
It’s just the latest in a long line of misunderstandings about Jefferies’ college allegiances. According to friends, the misconceptions started happening during college at Northwest Missouri State University, where Jefferies attended from 2002 to 2007. By his sophomore year, Jefferies had earned the nickname ‘Jayhawk’, despite not owing a single article of clothing with the KU logo on it.
“I can’t remember who came up with (the nickname), but it just kind of started, and then it stuck. Everybody on campus called him ‘Jayhawk’. Honestly, I didn’t know his name was Clint,” said former classmate Randy Algo. “I guess I just figured he was a huge fan of KU. He definitely came off a kind of a douchey prick who thought he was better than everyone else.”
Jeffrey says he has no emotional connection to the University of Kansas, and that none of his family attended the school. When picking a college, he didn’t even apply to Kansas, although he also says he has no real reason to hate the Jayhawks. Yet, nearly every sporting event he’s attended, or every sports bar he’s been to, he’s asked or talked to about Kansas. For Christmas, his coworkers got him a Jayhawk clock and calendar.
“My parents went to Eastern Michigan University and we lived in Michigan before we moved to Kansas when I was 16, so there is no connection at all,” said Jeffrey, who, within five minutes of the interview, said he drives a 2003 Lexus, but he’s definitely thinking about upgrading to a BMW convertible. “I guess if I root for anyone in the area, it’s maybe Missouri, but I don’t have any real connection there either. To tell you the truth, I’m a pretty big Michigan State guy.”
Jenny Larson was on the date with Jefferies at Tanners when the bathroom incident occurred. She said she just assumed he was a KU fan until he returned from the bathroom, ranting about the misunderstanding.
“One of my girlfriends set me up with him, so I didn’t really know him. All he did was talk about himself, and how marijuana should be legalized, but I just assumed he was a KU fan. I’m glad I didn’t say anything,” said Carlson, who is not planning to go out with Jefferies again. “I’m really into preppy guys, and I’ve dated a lot of assholes, and he was definitely up there on both counts. That’s probably why I assumed he was a Kansas fan.”
Jefferies, who at the restaurant a date, was using the men’s urinal when another man, standing next to him, struck up a conversation about the Jayhawks football team.
“I’m standing there, trying to take a piss, and some random dude, who I don’t know and have never met before, looks over and says, ‘so how ’bout those Jayhawks, man. Think they got a shot at the North,’” said Jefferies, who was decked out in baggy cargo shorts, a half-open button down shirt from Banana Republic, hemp necklace and a beat-up ‘Cocks’ baseball cap with the rim bent in almost a half circle. “And I’m like, ‘First of all, dude, don’t talk to me when my hand is on my dick. Second, I’m not a goddamn Jayhawk fan.’ Jesus, I don’t know why people keep assuming that.”
It’s just the latest in a long line of misunderstandings about Jefferies’ college allegiances. According to friends, the misconceptions started happening during college at Northwest Missouri State University, where Jefferies attended from 2002 to 2007. By his sophomore year, Jefferies had earned the nickname ‘Jayhawk’, despite not owing a single article of clothing with the KU logo on it.
“I can’t remember who came up with (the nickname), but it just kind of started, and then it stuck. Everybody on campus called him ‘Jayhawk’. Honestly, I didn’t know his name was Clint,” said former classmate Randy Algo. “I guess I just figured he was a huge fan of KU. He definitely came off a kind of a douchey prick who thought he was better than everyone else.”
Jeffrey says he has no emotional connection to the University of Kansas, and that none of his family attended the school. When picking a college, he didn’t even apply to Kansas, although he also says he has no real reason to hate the Jayhawks. Yet, nearly every sporting event he’s attended, or every sports bar he’s been to, he’s asked or talked to about Kansas. For Christmas, his coworkers got him a Jayhawk clock and calendar.
“My parents went to Eastern Michigan University and we lived in Michigan before we moved to Kansas when I was 16, so there is no connection at all,” said Jeffrey, who, within five minutes of the interview, said he drives a 2003 Lexus, but he’s definitely thinking about upgrading to a BMW convertible. “I guess if I root for anyone in the area, it’s maybe Missouri, but I don’t have any real connection there either. To tell you the truth, I’m a pretty big Michigan State guy.”
Jenny Larson was on the date with Jefferies at Tanners when the bathroom incident occurred. She said she just assumed he was a KU fan until he returned from the bathroom, ranting about the misunderstanding.
“One of my girlfriends set me up with him, so I didn’t really know him. All he did was talk about himself, and how marijuana should be legalized, but I just assumed he was a KU fan. I’m glad I didn’t say anything,” said Carlson, who is not planning to go out with Jefferies again. “I’m really into preppy guys, and I’ve dated a lot of assholes, and he was definitely up there on both counts. That’s probably why I assumed he was a Kansas fan.”
Monday, September 28, 2009
Cotton shortage in the U.S. traced back to KU coach’s wardrobe
LAWRENCE – U.S. trade officials today announced they’ve discovered the culprit behind the United State’s depleted cotton resources and put an immediate halt to all production of velour track suits.
Craig Thompson, U.S. Deputity of Domestic Trade and Agriculture announced that University of Kansas football coach Mark Mangino is nearly single handedly wiping out all of the cotton produced in the United States. Mangino, famous for his obesity and his sleek wardrobe, is almost always seen wearing a blue and red, or blue and gray velour track suit while on the side lines at Kansas football games.
Because Mangino refuses to wear polyester or any synthetic material, cotton must be used to produce his outfits. He rarely re-wears the suit, opting instead to have it cut from his body after games.
“Clearly, this is an issue we need to address immediately,” said Thompson. “We are seriously almost out of cotton. I mean, it’s cotton. We produce an ungodly amount of it each day, and yet 96 percent of it is going to help clothe one man. Granted, those suits are stylish, but come on.”
Mangino remained defiant, assuring his team and his fans that his trademark suit would remain as much apart of Kansas football as his rosy cheeks, and his penchant for screaming at players until they breakdown sobbing.
“Velour track suits are Kansas football,” Mangino said. “We’ve built a tradition here at Kansas. You take those velour suits away; all you have are three bowl wins in four years. Literally, we’ve been playing football since 1890 and that’s all we have. You can’t take these suits away.”
Lew Perkins, University of Kansas’ Athletic Director, backed his coach’s decision to continue to order and wear velour.
“At Kansas, we are not indifferent to the needs of the world community and the shortage of cotton. But we are also aware that a strong athletic department must have a strong football team,” said Perkins, who demanded he be interviewed in a dark, mirrorless room. “If coach Mangino needs to wear velour to be successful, then that’s what’s going to happen. And I swear, if anyone tries to take that away from us, I will come at them with every fiber of my being. And I will not stop until one of us is dead.”
Craig Thompson, U.S. Deputity of Domestic Trade and Agriculture announced that University of Kansas football coach Mark Mangino is nearly single handedly wiping out all of the cotton produced in the United States. Mangino, famous for his obesity and his sleek wardrobe, is almost always seen wearing a blue and red, or blue and gray velour track suit while on the side lines at Kansas football games.
Because Mangino refuses to wear polyester or any synthetic material, cotton must be used to produce his outfits. He rarely re-wears the suit, opting instead to have it cut from his body after games.
“Clearly, this is an issue we need to address immediately,” said Thompson. “We are seriously almost out of cotton. I mean, it’s cotton. We produce an ungodly amount of it each day, and yet 96 percent of it is going to help clothe one man. Granted, those suits are stylish, but come on.”
Mangino remained defiant, assuring his team and his fans that his trademark suit would remain as much apart of Kansas football as his rosy cheeks, and his penchant for screaming at players until they breakdown sobbing.
“Velour track suits are Kansas football,” Mangino said. “We’ve built a tradition here at Kansas. You take those velour suits away; all you have are three bowl wins in four years. Literally, we’ve been playing football since 1890 and that’s all we have. You can’t take these suits away.”
Lew Perkins, University of Kansas’ Athletic Director, backed his coach’s decision to continue to order and wear velour.
“At Kansas, we are not indifferent to the needs of the world community and the shortage of cotton. But we are also aware that a strong athletic department must have a strong football team,” said Perkins, who demanded he be interviewed in a dark, mirrorless room. “If coach Mangino needs to wear velour to be successful, then that’s what’s going to happen. And I swear, if anyone tries to take that away from us, I will come at them with every fiber of my being. And I will not stop until one of us is dead.”
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