PRAIRIE VILLAGE – The Missouri Tigers suffered their most embarrassing setback of the season on Monday morning, losing to the Shawnee Mission East junior varsity squad 54-52 in a game designed to get the Tigers back on track for the Big 12 tournament, which starts Wednesday.
The Tigers, who have lost three straight heading into the tournament and went 1-7 on the road in Big 12 play, are using the Lancers' gym to practice before the start of the Big 12 tournament. But things took an unexpected turn when the Tigers agreed to a scrimmage, then got off to a slow start against the SM East JV team. The Missouri players found themselves stunned when Kim English’s last-second 3-pointer rimmed out at the buzzer.
The Lancers celebrated the win before heading off to first period.
“We just can’t seem to get a win on the road,” said Tigers coach Mike Anderson. “I mean, come on. The only reason we played this game was to get our confidence back up away from our own court. They varsity team wasn’t even available. It was either this, or the girl’s freshman team. I guess I should have played the girls.”
The Lancers JV team committed 20 turnovers against Missouri’s full court pressure defense, but the Tigers converted those turnovers into just nine points. Danny Timlin, who averaged four points per game during the season for the Lancers, scored 21 points, including five 3 pointers.
“This was so awesome,” said Timlin, a 15-year-old sophomore who missed warm ups because his mom was late dropping him off. “I mean, I guess it’s just the Tigers and it wasn’t on their court, so it’s not like you can get too excited, but this is awesome.”
English, who made three of his last 20 field goals in Big 12 play, went 1 for 13 against the Lancers, but didn’t hesitate to take the 3-pointer, despite facing a double-team.
“I’m a shooter, and they always say that when you’re in a slump, you have to shoot your way out,” said English. “Wait, is that a basketball saying? Maybe I heard that wrong.”
Showing posts with label Missouri Tigers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Missouri Tigers. Show all posts
Monday, March 7, 2011
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Breaking News: No University of Missouri players arrested this week
COLUMBIA, Mo. – The University of Missouri athletic department today released a report highlighting the exemplary behavior its student athletes have displayed during the past four days. For the first time in what feels like forever, not a single University of Missouri athlete was arrested or accused of a crime during the first three days of the week.
Missouri players have run into legal trouble at least six times in the last few months, including a high profile arrest of former captain and player Derrick Washington, who has been charged with felony sexual assault and domestic violence. Washington has since been kicked off the team.
A press release went out to all local and national media with a statement from Missouri head football coach Gary Pinkel.
“I couldn’t be happier that we finally managed to almost go an entire week without me getting a call about one of my guys needing bail money,” said Pinkel. “I think this shows that the messages we’ve been preaching from day one are finally getting through to our team. It only took five or six guys getting arrested.”
Missouri players have run into legal trouble at least six times in the last few months, including a high profile arrest of former captain and player Derrick Washington, who has been charged with felony sexual assault and domestic violence. Washington has since been kicked off the team.
A press release went out to all local and national media with a statement from Missouri head football coach Gary Pinkel.
“I couldn’t be happier that we finally managed to almost go an entire week without me getting a call about one of my guys needing bail money,” said Pinkel. “I think this shows that the messages we’ve been preaching from day one are finally getting through to our team. It only took five or six guys getting arrested.”
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Delusional Jayhawk fan mocks Missouri for “only making the Texas bowl”
BONNER SPRINGS – Delusional Kansas Jayhawk fan Pat Williams spent 15 minutes making fun of his neighbor, Sam Millsboro, the Missouri Tigers and the Tigers spot in the Texas Bowl.
The Missouri Tigers, who went 8-4 this season, will play Navy on December 31st in Dallas. While it’s played in an area where Missouri recruits, and televised on ESPN, the Texas Bowl is commonly reserved for the final Big 12 team selected, something Williams brought up repeatedly.
Despite returning nearly all of their offensive weapons, Kansas did not qualify for a bowl and fired its coach. Still, according to Williams, it’s a much better time to be a Jayhawk fan.
“The Texas Bowl is a joke, it’s barely even a bowl. I’d probably be a little embarrassed if my team accepted an invite to it,” said Williams, wearing a sweatshirt purchased at the Fort Worth Bowl in 2005.
Millsboro, who played football at Missouri, graduating in 1974, said he tries to avoid talking to Williams, but happened to be outside putting up Christmas lights when Williams walked by with his dog.
“He does this a lot. When we first moved in, it bothered me, but now, honestly, I just try to avoid him,” said Millsboro. “I don’t think he went to KU, and he really doesn’t know that much about sports, but I guess it’s better than him asking how my wife and kids are again. My wife and daughter were killed in a car accident two years ago. I’m not sure how he doesn’t remember. He was at the funeral. I remember, because he gave me a hard time about scheduling the service during a KU game.”
The Missouri Tigers, who went 8-4 this season, will play Navy on December 31st in Dallas. While it’s played in an area where Missouri recruits, and televised on ESPN, the Texas Bowl is commonly reserved for the final Big 12 team selected, something Williams brought up repeatedly.
Despite returning nearly all of their offensive weapons, Kansas did not qualify for a bowl and fired its coach. Still, according to Williams, it’s a much better time to be a Jayhawk fan.
“The Texas Bowl is a joke, it’s barely even a bowl. I’d probably be a little embarrassed if my team accepted an invite to it,” said Williams, wearing a sweatshirt purchased at the Fort Worth Bowl in 2005.
Millsboro, who played football at Missouri, graduating in 1974, said he tries to avoid talking to Williams, but happened to be outside putting up Christmas lights when Williams walked by with his dog.
“He does this a lot. When we first moved in, it bothered me, but now, honestly, I just try to avoid him,” said Millsboro. “I don’t think he went to KU, and he really doesn’t know that much about sports, but I guess it’s better than him asking how my wife and kids are again. My wife and daughter were killed in a car accident two years ago. I’m not sure how he doesn’t remember. He was at the funeral. I remember, because he gave me a hard time about scheduling the service during a KU game.”
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Pinkel gets stuck in paper bag, fails to coach his way out
COLUMBIA – University of Missouri head coach Gary Pinkel’s worst fears were realized on Tuesday when he accidentally placed a brown paper bag over his head and had no idea how to coach it off.
Pinkel, 57, had placed the empty paper bag on top of the refrigerator to clear space. When he absent-mindedly went to retrieve it, the bag fell, landing on his head. He immediately called for help from his assistant coaches, but with no one around, Pinkel was forced to find his own way out of the bag.
“I tried every coaching trick I could think of to get out of that bag but nothing worked,” said Pinkel. “That took about 45 seconds. After that, I just stopped doing anything and hoped my players would show up to help me.”
After four hours, Missouri football players Blaine Gabbert and Danario Alexander arrived at Pinkel’s house and bailed him out by removing the bag from his head.
“Coach is an awesome guy, and he really knows how to find great talent, but everyone has their struggles, and I guess those paper bags can be tricky,” said Gabbert. “I just feel fortunate we showed up to keep him from being stuck there all night.”
Pinkel, who has led the Tigers to a 63-43 record in eight plus years at Missouri, could have been out of the bag in just 20 minutes, when former quarterback Brad Smith made a surprise visit at the coach’s house. Pinkel, however, spent that time screaming at Smith about his need to become a drop-back quarterback, despite the fact that Smith is currently in more of a flex role with the New York Jets.
“In retrospect, I probably should have just let Brad do what was most natural for him, which was to remove the paper bag from my head,” said Pinkel. “But in the moment, I felt like I needed to team him that lesson.”
Pinkel, 57, had placed the empty paper bag on top of the refrigerator to clear space. When he absent-mindedly went to retrieve it, the bag fell, landing on his head. He immediately called for help from his assistant coaches, but with no one around, Pinkel was forced to find his own way out of the bag.
“I tried every coaching trick I could think of to get out of that bag but nothing worked,” said Pinkel. “That took about 45 seconds. After that, I just stopped doing anything and hoped my players would show up to help me.”
After four hours, Missouri football players Blaine Gabbert and Danario Alexander arrived at Pinkel’s house and bailed him out by removing the bag from his head.
“Coach is an awesome guy, and he really knows how to find great talent, but everyone has their struggles, and I guess those paper bags can be tricky,” said Gabbert. “I just feel fortunate we showed up to keep him from being stuck there all night.”
Pinkel, who has led the Tigers to a 63-43 record in eight plus years at Missouri, could have been out of the bag in just 20 minutes, when former quarterback Brad Smith made a surprise visit at the coach’s house. Pinkel, however, spent that time screaming at Smith about his need to become a drop-back quarterback, despite the fact that Smith is currently in more of a flex role with the New York Jets.
“In retrospect, I probably should have just let Brad do what was most natural for him, which was to remove the paper bag from my head,” said Pinkel. “But in the moment, I felt like I needed to team him that lesson.”
Monday, October 12, 2009
Even Mother Nature Biased Against the Missouri Tigers
COLUMBIA – Following the Missouri Tigers’ 27-12 loss to the Nebraska Cornhuskers, Phillip LaMont, president of the Anti-Missouri Biases Fan Club issued a statement concerning the role of “Mother Nature”.
LaMont, a DeSoto, Mo., resident, and senior at the University of Missouri, claims that Mother Nature was out to get the Tigers on Thursday, and proved it by dumping a torrential rainstorm onto the Tiger fans and players.
“At Missouri, we already face enough challenges. We are the most disrespected, discounted, disparaged school in the NCAA,” writes LaMont, who is majoring in political science. “The actions of Mother Nature are unforgivable. Everyone knows we had that game in the bag if it had just stopped raining. We should be the No. 1 team in the North, but we all know the NCAA won’t let that happen. I’m sure they conspired with Mother Nature to deliver this win for the Nubbies.”
The Missouri Tigers held a 12-0 lead through three rain-drenched quarters, only to completely collapse in the fourth quarter. Mizzou quarterback, Blaine Gabbert, however, threw two costly interceptions during a Cornhuskers 20-0 spurt in the fourth quarter to give Nebraska the win.
To impartial observers it appeared Nebraska simply wore down the offensive and defensive lines of Missouri, and that Gabbert, a freshman quarterback, was making too many ill advised throws. But according to LaMont, on a clear night, Missouri would have easily taken the win.
“You give me crystal clear skies and a temperature in the 60’s, like we’d seen the previous four weeks, and that’s a cakewalk to victory for the Missouri Tigers,” said LaMont. “You just know the NCAA and Mother Nature are sticking it to us. You just know they don’t want to see the black and gold in the Big 12 championship game again, because this year, we’d win it for sure, and I guess that’s just not good for ratings.”
The claim against Mother Nature is just another in a long line of complaints from Missouri fans. The media in both Kansas City and St. Louis has drawn criticism for “not showing enough Tiger love”, and fans constantly rail against the NCAA for its role in cheating the Tigers on BCS bowl bids, or NCAA Tournament seeding. However, most of their criticism is saved for the referees.
“Missouri fans are pretty bad when it comes to the Big 12 and unnecessary complaining,” said Big 12 official Tom Vekosky. “They whine about every holding penalty or pass interference call. I’ve even heard them start whining when penalties are called on the other team, as if what I’m calling is an attempt to balance out all the injustice done to them.
“Still, they’re no where near as bad as K-State fans.”
LaMont, a DeSoto, Mo., resident, and senior at the University of Missouri, claims that Mother Nature was out to get the Tigers on Thursday, and proved it by dumping a torrential rainstorm onto the Tiger fans and players.
“At Missouri, we already face enough challenges. We are the most disrespected, discounted, disparaged school in the NCAA,” writes LaMont, who is majoring in political science. “The actions of Mother Nature are unforgivable. Everyone knows we had that game in the bag if it had just stopped raining. We should be the No. 1 team in the North, but we all know the NCAA won’t let that happen. I’m sure they conspired with Mother Nature to deliver this win for the Nubbies.”
The Missouri Tigers held a 12-0 lead through three rain-drenched quarters, only to completely collapse in the fourth quarter. Mizzou quarterback, Blaine Gabbert, however, threw two costly interceptions during a Cornhuskers 20-0 spurt in the fourth quarter to give Nebraska the win.
To impartial observers it appeared Nebraska simply wore down the offensive and defensive lines of Missouri, and that Gabbert, a freshman quarterback, was making too many ill advised throws. But according to LaMont, on a clear night, Missouri would have easily taken the win.
“You give me crystal clear skies and a temperature in the 60’s, like we’d seen the previous four weeks, and that’s a cakewalk to victory for the Missouri Tigers,” said LaMont. “You just know the NCAA and Mother Nature are sticking it to us. You just know they don’t want to see the black and gold in the Big 12 championship game again, because this year, we’d win it for sure, and I guess that’s just not good for ratings.”
The claim against Mother Nature is just another in a long line of complaints from Missouri fans. The media in both Kansas City and St. Louis has drawn criticism for “not showing enough Tiger love”, and fans constantly rail against the NCAA for its role in cheating the Tigers on BCS bowl bids, or NCAA Tournament seeding. However, most of their criticism is saved for the referees.
“Missouri fans are pretty bad when it comes to the Big 12 and unnecessary complaining,” said Big 12 official Tom Vekosky. “They whine about every holding penalty or pass interference call. I’ve even heard them start whining when penalties are called on the other team, as if what I’m calling is an attempt to balance out all the injustice done to them.
“Still, they’re no where near as bad as K-State fans.”
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Missouri fan really hates Kansas; doesn’t know that much about Missouri athletics
GRANDVIEW – Friends and family of Ronnie Holstead, known commonly by his screen name, MizzouFan6969_2001, today reported that Holstead actually knows very little about the University of Missouri athletic department and is far more interested in attacking the University of Kansas on message boards and news articles.
Holstead, a former gas station attendant, is currently unemployed, leaving him ample time to peruse various message boards and newspaper Web sites, where he continuously makes disparaging remarks and accusations about the University of Kansas. Those close to Holstead say it’s impossible to know exactly how many posts he averages in a day, but family members admit he spends most of his time sitting in front of the computer.
“I’d say he’s in front of that damn thing at least eight to 10 hours during the day,” said Beatrice Holstead, Ronnie’s mother. “He used to go out with his friends most nights, or go to the bar to watch the Tigers play, but now he just sits there, typing away and snickering to himself.”
After a recent spat of fights broke out among players on the Kansas football and basketball teams, Holstead says he spent almost 24 hours at the computer, scouring the Internet for any story or blog posting about the incident, making sure to post on each one.
“A lot of times I write one killer post, and I’ll just copy that on a bunch of different places,” said Holstead, who dropped out of Grandview High School in 2000. “But that fight was awesome. I probably posted about 60 different things, but most of it was about KU sucking pretty hard. Those guys are all huge douche bags.”
Friends, however, are concerned that Holstead’s time on the computer is taking away from the enjoyment of Missouri’s actual accomplishments. During last season’s NCAA basketball tournament, Holstead watched every single KU game, and went so far as to buy a round of shots for the bar he was at when the Jayhawks fell to Michigan State. But he failed to watch even a single half of the Missouri Tigers’ run to the Elite Eight.
“He used to be the biggest Tiger fan on the planet,” said friend Landus Dumpkin, who went to high school with Holstead, then went onto graduate from Missouri in 2005. “Three years ago, he could name nearly every Missouri football player on the team, even the third and fourth stringers. Now, I’m not sure if he even knows who the quarterback is.”
When questioned about the quarterback, Holstead stammered for a moment before changing the subject. In fact, Holstead struggled to name even one starter for the Tigers football team.
“Whatever man, it doesn’t matter who our quarterback is. We could put anybody in there and we’re still going to blast those ChickenHawks,” said Holstead. “You think that little shrimp Todd Reesing can stand up to us? Hell no. And we’re going to smack around that punk Kerry Meier and Briscoe. And don’t get me started on their offensive line. Tanner Hawkinson, Jeff Spikes, Brad Thorson, they don’t got nothing on us. None of them even knew what college football was before this season. We’re going to destroy them. Is Macklin still a Tiger? That guy is the shit.”
One friend close to Holstead says he believes the tide turned during the 2007 college football season, when Kansas and Missouri both vied for the national championship. Despite the fact that Missouri beat Kansas head to head, the Jayhawks went to, and won, a BCS Bowl game, while Missouri had to settle for the Cotton Bowl.
“That whole year he really became angry and bitter,” said Cole Trachenbacher, a friend of Holstead’s since grade school. “About halfway through the season, when we’d call him to go watch the Missouri game, he’d make up an excuse to not come. Then he’d spend the whole next week bitching about KU’s easy schedule, or how the refs gave them the game, and it was obvious he’d been watching the Jayhawks. I mean, I hate the KU too, but it’s like he preferred watching Kansas over Missouri. That’s messed up.”
Just a few months later, the Jayhawks won the National Championship in men’s basketball, sending Holstead over the edge.
“For a few days, he didn’t even touch the computer,” Beatrice Holstead said. “I thought maybe he’d given up and was ready to go back to hanging out with his friends and smoking pot. But after three or four days, he was back on it, ranting about probation and cheaters.”
Holstead’s posting activity isn’t always well received; as he’s been banned from at least seven message boards, including the Jayhawk Slant, Phog.net, and even GoPowercat.com, a Kansas State fan board, after accusing the entire state of Kansas of “overt gayness”.
Two years ago, the Kansas City Star changed their posting format from anonymous to one requiring registration, in part because of the abusive and vile comments from Holstead and others like him.
“It’s not just that guy, although he’s one of the worst. There are fans from Kansas, Missouri, Kansas State and Nebraska who all wait for a story about a rival school to pop up, then attack the school, the players, the fans, anyone they can,” said Dave Jenkins, who monitors comments on the KansasCity.com Web site. “Half the time, I don’t even think they read beyond the first line of the story.”
Even administrators at the Missouri fan site, Tigerboard, have warned Holstead to stay on topic.
“We all hate Kansas, that’s a prerequisite for being a Tiger fan, but there has to be some limits on what is allowable,” said Tyler Brown, who helps run Tigerboard. “We had one thread titled “Your favorite place to eat off campus”, and that guy, MizzouFan6969_2001, ended up posting about Mangino’s resemblance to Jabba the Hut, and how great it was that Quantrill burned Lawrence to the ground. I actually haven’t seen him post anything of relevance in about a year.”
Despite his detractors, Holstead said he remains a huge Missouri fan, and he’s just showing that by bashing Kansas whenever he has a chance.
“Look, I’m all about the black and gold. I know Coach Pinkel is going to have us back in the Big 12 championship game this year, and I know coach – uh – who’s the basketball coach? That new guy. What’s his name? Whatever. I know he doesn’t wear a rug on his head like Bill Selfish.”
Holstead, a former gas station attendant, is currently unemployed, leaving him ample time to peruse various message boards and newspaper Web sites, where he continuously makes disparaging remarks and accusations about the University of Kansas. Those close to Holstead say it’s impossible to know exactly how many posts he averages in a day, but family members admit he spends most of his time sitting in front of the computer.
“I’d say he’s in front of that damn thing at least eight to 10 hours during the day,” said Beatrice Holstead, Ronnie’s mother. “He used to go out with his friends most nights, or go to the bar to watch the Tigers play, but now he just sits there, typing away and snickering to himself.”
After a recent spat of fights broke out among players on the Kansas football and basketball teams, Holstead says he spent almost 24 hours at the computer, scouring the Internet for any story or blog posting about the incident, making sure to post on each one.
“A lot of times I write one killer post, and I’ll just copy that on a bunch of different places,” said Holstead, who dropped out of Grandview High School in 2000. “But that fight was awesome. I probably posted about 60 different things, but most of it was about KU sucking pretty hard. Those guys are all huge douche bags.”
Friends, however, are concerned that Holstead’s time on the computer is taking away from the enjoyment of Missouri’s actual accomplishments. During last season’s NCAA basketball tournament, Holstead watched every single KU game, and went so far as to buy a round of shots for the bar he was at when the Jayhawks fell to Michigan State. But he failed to watch even a single half of the Missouri Tigers’ run to the Elite Eight.
“He used to be the biggest Tiger fan on the planet,” said friend Landus Dumpkin, who went to high school with Holstead, then went onto graduate from Missouri in 2005. “Three years ago, he could name nearly every Missouri football player on the team, even the third and fourth stringers. Now, I’m not sure if he even knows who the quarterback is.”
When questioned about the quarterback, Holstead stammered for a moment before changing the subject. In fact, Holstead struggled to name even one starter for the Tigers football team.
“Whatever man, it doesn’t matter who our quarterback is. We could put anybody in there and we’re still going to blast those ChickenHawks,” said Holstead. “You think that little shrimp Todd Reesing can stand up to us? Hell no. And we’re going to smack around that punk Kerry Meier and Briscoe. And don’t get me started on their offensive line. Tanner Hawkinson, Jeff Spikes, Brad Thorson, they don’t got nothing on us. None of them even knew what college football was before this season. We’re going to destroy them. Is Macklin still a Tiger? That guy is the shit.”
One friend close to Holstead says he believes the tide turned during the 2007 college football season, when Kansas and Missouri both vied for the national championship. Despite the fact that Missouri beat Kansas head to head, the Jayhawks went to, and won, a BCS Bowl game, while Missouri had to settle for the Cotton Bowl.
“That whole year he really became angry and bitter,” said Cole Trachenbacher, a friend of Holstead’s since grade school. “About halfway through the season, when we’d call him to go watch the Missouri game, he’d make up an excuse to not come. Then he’d spend the whole next week bitching about KU’s easy schedule, or how the refs gave them the game, and it was obvious he’d been watching the Jayhawks. I mean, I hate the KU too, but it’s like he preferred watching Kansas over Missouri. That’s messed up.”
Just a few months later, the Jayhawks won the National Championship in men’s basketball, sending Holstead over the edge.
“For a few days, he didn’t even touch the computer,” Beatrice Holstead said. “I thought maybe he’d given up and was ready to go back to hanging out with his friends and smoking pot. But after three or four days, he was back on it, ranting about probation and cheaters.”
Holstead’s posting activity isn’t always well received; as he’s been banned from at least seven message boards, including the Jayhawk Slant, Phog.net, and even GoPowercat.com, a Kansas State fan board, after accusing the entire state of Kansas of “overt gayness”.
Two years ago, the Kansas City Star changed their posting format from anonymous to one requiring registration, in part because of the abusive and vile comments from Holstead and others like him.
“It’s not just that guy, although he’s one of the worst. There are fans from Kansas, Missouri, Kansas State and Nebraska who all wait for a story about a rival school to pop up, then attack the school, the players, the fans, anyone they can,” said Dave Jenkins, who monitors comments on the KansasCity.com Web site. “Half the time, I don’t even think they read beyond the first line of the story.”
Even administrators at the Missouri fan site, Tigerboard, have warned Holstead to stay on topic.
“We all hate Kansas, that’s a prerequisite for being a Tiger fan, but there has to be some limits on what is allowable,” said Tyler Brown, who helps run Tigerboard. “We had one thread titled “Your favorite place to eat off campus”, and that guy, MizzouFan6969_2001, ended up posting about Mangino’s resemblance to Jabba the Hut, and how great it was that Quantrill burned Lawrence to the ground. I actually haven’t seen him post anything of relevance in about a year.”
Despite his detractors, Holstead said he remains a huge Missouri fan, and he’s just showing that by bashing Kansas whenever he has a chance.
“Look, I’m all about the black and gold. I know Coach Pinkel is going to have us back in the Big 12 championship game this year, and I know coach – uh – who’s the basketball coach? That new guy. What’s his name? Whatever. I know he doesn’t wear a rug on his head like Bill Selfish.”
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