MADISON, NJ – In addition to surprising college basketball fans across the country and becoming one of the early feel-good stories of the season, the Kansas State Wildcat basketball team is helping educate those not familiar with the Midwest.
Frank Legozamo, a sports writer for the New Jersey Standard, a small weekly newspaper, was recently hit with the revelation that there is more than one Division-I university in the state of Kansas. Legozamo said the fact hit him while reading the AP story on the top-25 this week.
“The first two paragraphs were all about Kansas State entering the top-25 for the first time this year, but I was almost positive Kansas was ranked No. 1 from the start,” said Legozamo. “I was in the middle of writing an e-mail to the AP writer when I looked up Kansas’ record. That’s when it hit me that there was a difference between Kansas and Kansas State. I just figured it was like Memphis.”
Legozamo said he doesn’t spend much time writing, watching or thinking about any of the “worthless fly over states”. He said he vaguely remembers seeing a Kansas State football game early in the decade, but figured the football team wore purple and the basketball team wore red and blue.
“Look, pretty much anything west of Philly may as well all be the same state,” said Legozamo. “Who would have thought a small state like Kansas would have enough people to fill two D-I universities. I guess it works if you put one in Kansas City and one in Wichita.”
Saturday, December 19, 2009
K-State fans burn down announcers home, urinates on ashes
SHAWNEE – ESPN Announcer Dave Armstrong was horrified to find that his Shawnee house had been burned to the ground, and the ashes had been urinated upon by the arsonists.
Kansas State fans Richard Willis and Timothy Holt were arrested last Thursday night after evidence left at the house traced back to them. According to police reports, Willis and Holt were upset that Armstrong had mistakenly referred to a statue of Ernie Barrett as Fred Bramladge.
“I’m sure he knew who the statue was, but it was obvious that he just hates K-State and does everything in his power to make sure we look bad,” said Willis. “And if it was just a mistake, then he’s too stupid to be on tv anyway. Seriously, do some research on the team you’re covering. If all you know are the coaches, the players, the statistics, and college facts, then you’re a total fucking idiot who needs to be taught a lesson.”
Holt said burning down the house was the backup plan after their initial plan fell through.
“At first, we were just going to start an e-mail campaign to get him fired, but we thought that might be a little too harsh,” said Holt. “I know losing a house is tough, but he needed to learn a lesson that you don’t mess up facts about K-State. Or we will destroy you. Maybe next time Dave won’t show a complete and total bias against K-State.”
Armstrong, a professional of nearly 20 years who regularly calls games for the Big 12, the NFL among others said he thought the retribution was harsh, but it’s what’s to be expected when calling a K-State game.
“You come to expect that with Wildcat fans. But I should have known better than to make that mistake,” said Armstrong. “I do wish they hadn’t burnt down my house though. We had all our Christmas presents already wrapped. I mean, WOW, that’s going to be a lot of extra shopping.”
Kansas State fans Richard Willis and Timothy Holt were arrested last Thursday night after evidence left at the house traced back to them. According to police reports, Willis and Holt were upset that Armstrong had mistakenly referred to a statue of Ernie Barrett as Fred Bramladge.
“I’m sure he knew who the statue was, but it was obvious that he just hates K-State and does everything in his power to make sure we look bad,” said Willis. “And if it was just a mistake, then he’s too stupid to be on tv anyway. Seriously, do some research on the team you’re covering. If all you know are the coaches, the players, the statistics, and college facts, then you’re a total fucking idiot who needs to be taught a lesson.”
Holt said burning down the house was the backup plan after their initial plan fell through.
“At first, we were just going to start an e-mail campaign to get him fired, but we thought that might be a little too harsh,” said Holt. “I know losing a house is tough, but he needed to learn a lesson that you don’t mess up facts about K-State. Or we will destroy you. Maybe next time Dave won’t show a complete and total bias against K-State.”
Armstrong, a professional of nearly 20 years who regularly calls games for the Big 12, the NFL among others said he thought the retribution was harsh, but it’s what’s to be expected when calling a K-State game.
“You come to expect that with Wildcat fans. But I should have known better than to make that mistake,” said Armstrong. “I do wish they hadn’t burnt down my house though. We had all our Christmas presents already wrapped. I mean, WOW, that’s going to be a lot of extra shopping.”
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Guy who drafted all Chiefs still looking for first win
MOBERLY, Mo. – The Kansas City Chiefs may have won their second game of the season, but it was no consolation to Steven Valdenrammer, who saw his fantasy football team, the “Valden’s Rammers” drop to 0-10 on the season.
This week, Valdenrammer lost to the “Team McMannis”, run by Katie McMannis, girlfriend of Tim Schroder. “Team McMannis”, missing three starters because Katie hasn’t checked her team in three weeks, managed to crush Valdenrammer’s squad 61-44. It was McMannis’ first win of the season and Valdenrammer’s second highest scoring total of the year.
“We brought Katie in because we needed an extra person. She doesn’t even watch football,” said Schroder. “When I told her she won, she had forgotten all about the league.”
Valdenrammer, whose draft strategy consists of drafting as many Chiefs players as possible, has not won a fantasy league game in nearly two years, dating back to week four of 2008, when Larry Johnson’s two-touchdown performance helped push him to a 71-64 win over the “Wee Man Giants”, who had three guys on a bye week.
This season, Valdenrammer used his first round pick on Dwayne Bowe, his second on Matt Cassel and third on Larry Johnson. From there, he selected Chiefs at random, filling up his roster. Unfortunately, he was unaware the Chiefs had let go of Conner Barth, so he failed to draft kicker Ryan Succop. Because of his “Chiefs’ only” policy, he’s played this season without a kicker.
“It’s frustrating, but what are you going to do? This strategy worked wonders for me a few years ago,” said Valdenrammer, who pays $50 to gain entrance to the league. “Back in the days of Trent Green, Tony Gonzalez, Priest Holmes and a Hall of Fame offensive line, an all-Chiefs roster was unstoppable. They’ll get back to that point soon. Right?”
This week, Valdenrammer lost to the “Team McMannis”, run by Katie McMannis, girlfriend of Tim Schroder. “Team McMannis”, missing three starters because Katie hasn’t checked her team in three weeks, managed to crush Valdenrammer’s squad 61-44. It was McMannis’ first win of the season and Valdenrammer’s second highest scoring total of the year.
“We brought Katie in because we needed an extra person. She doesn’t even watch football,” said Schroder. “When I told her she won, she had forgotten all about the league.”
Valdenrammer, whose draft strategy consists of drafting as many Chiefs players as possible, has not won a fantasy league game in nearly two years, dating back to week four of 2008, when Larry Johnson’s two-touchdown performance helped push him to a 71-64 win over the “Wee Man Giants”, who had three guys on a bye week.
This season, Valdenrammer used his first round pick on Dwayne Bowe, his second on Matt Cassel and third on Larry Johnson. From there, he selected Chiefs at random, filling up his roster. Unfortunately, he was unaware the Chiefs had let go of Conner Barth, so he failed to draft kicker Ryan Succop. Because of his “Chiefs’ only” policy, he’s played this season without a kicker.
“It’s frustrating, but what are you going to do? This strategy worked wonders for me a few years ago,” said Valdenrammer, who pays $50 to gain entrance to the league. “Back in the days of Trent Green, Tony Gonzalez, Priest Holmes and a Hall of Fame offensive line, an all-Chiefs roster was unstoppable. They’ll get back to that point soon. Right?”
Ron Prince really hoping KU looking for “Bold and Daring” head coach
CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. – Former Kansas State head football coach Ron Prince admitted he is quietly hoping the University of Kansas will be searching for a “bold and daring” head coach if the Jayhawks fire Mark Mangino, according to sources close to the situation.
Prince, currently working as the special teams coach at the University of Virginia, was a virtual unknown when he was hired by Kansas State to replace Bill Snyder after Snyder’s sudden retirement in 2005.
Despite leading the Wildcats to a bowl game his first season, and scoring two upset victories over Texas, Prince quickly found himself under fire from Kansas State fans and donors, who didn’t care for his dictatorship-like tactics, his underwhelming recruiting, or the fact that he went 0-9 against Kansas, Missouri and Nebraska. Attempting fake punts from inside his own 30 didn’t go over well either.
The source, who refused to be named, said Prince was touting his resume, which included a bowl appearance, two wins over a nationally ranked program, a first-round draft pick quarterback, and a coaching tree that includes an NFL head coach.
“He was pretty adamant that the losses weren’t his fault, most of those were because of the players,” said the source. “I mean, the Texas wins, those were all him. And those great special teams, he was the one who helped mold those. But the losses, I mean, the coach can’t be everywhere at once.”
According to the source, in addition to looking for someone “bold and daring”, Prince is also hoping Kansas Athletic Director Lew Perkins is looking for a leader who will, “coach smart, not scared.”
Prince, currently working as the special teams coach at the University of Virginia, was a virtual unknown when he was hired by Kansas State to replace Bill Snyder after Snyder’s sudden retirement in 2005.
Despite leading the Wildcats to a bowl game his first season, and scoring two upset victories over Texas, Prince quickly found himself under fire from Kansas State fans and donors, who didn’t care for his dictatorship-like tactics, his underwhelming recruiting, or the fact that he went 0-9 against Kansas, Missouri and Nebraska. Attempting fake punts from inside his own 30 didn’t go over well either.
The source, who refused to be named, said Prince was touting his resume, which included a bowl appearance, two wins over a nationally ranked program, a first-round draft pick quarterback, and a coaching tree that includes an NFL head coach.
“He was pretty adamant that the losses weren’t his fault, most of those were because of the players,” said the source. “I mean, the Texas wins, those were all him. And those great special teams, he was the one who helped mold those. But the losses, I mean, the coach can’t be everywhere at once.”
According to the source, in addition to looking for someone “bold and daring”, Prince is also hoping Kansas Athletic Director Lew Perkins is looking for a leader who will, “coach smart, not scared.”
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